What Can Go Wrong at IEP Meetings and How to Fix It

As much as we would love for IEP meetings to all run smoothly, sometimes that is just not the case. Personalities can clash, decisions on services can be disagreed about, and emotions can come into play.

Being prepared to handle things that can go wrong can make the meeting run smoother and calm your nerves. Below are some of the scenarios you may encounter at IEP meetings and ways to handle them to keep the meeting on track.

IEP Meetings: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Before we talk about what can go awry at an IEP meeting, let’s talk about what a good IEP meeting looks like.

Good IEP Meetings

Good IEP meetings are recognizable because they have a flow and organization to them that makes it easy for participants to be respectful and stay on topic.

In a good IEP meeting:

• other issues are set aside for another discussion at a different time.
• the person running the meeting is doing so with confidence and leadership.
• each person at the IEP meeting has a responsibility. For example: there is a notetaker and a time keeper.
• the members are active listeners and acknowledge others’ opinions and ideas – even if they disagree.
• the agenda is always followed and the meeting starts and ends on time.
• members understand the basics of what an IEP is, what FAPE is, etc.
• unpleasant news or updates about a student’s behavior or grades are delivered with care and sensitivity.
• members are succinct with their wording.
• there is a lot of paraphrasing and clarifying to make sure everyone is on the same page and being heard and understood.
• the team collaborates together and it isn’t one person solely writing the IEP.

IEP Meetings That Don’t Go As Planned

But what happens when things go sideways in a meeting? Can disagreements that threaten to ruin the meeting be salvaged and a positive outcome ensue?

Of course, but the key is in knowing some of the things that commonly go wrong and tricks to turn them around.

Here are some of the most common issues that come up at IEP meetings:

Issue: Tempers and emotions get high.

Solution: Take a break. Respect at IEP meetings is key and it is perfectly acceptable to end the meeting for the day if there is excessive hostility or aggression. Sometimes giving everyone 10-15 minutes to cool off can reset the meeting.

Issue: The family brings a recorder to tape the meeting.

Solution: If there was no prior notice given, look into the rules and regulations of your district. If the recording is needed for an access issue, it should be allowed automatically. Read more here about parents recording IEP meetings to understand the issues surrounding it.

Issue: A team member tries to take over the meeting.

Solution: Refer to the rules of the meeting and remind everyone about the procedures in effect. Impress upon them the importance of everyone having time to speak and listening when it is not their turn.

Issue: A team member becomes emotional and cries.

Solution: Remember that IEP meetings are emotional times for families. It’s a meeting about their child and everything is personal. Acknowledge their emotions, pass over tissues, and, if needed, take a break to allow them to compose themselves.

Issue: Parents bring an attorney or an advocate without notifying the school ahead of time.

Solution: Depending on what the school district’s policy is, you may need to offer to hold the meeting without the guest or reschedule it for a later time when the district’s attorney can also be in attendance.

Issue: Disagreements and conflicts occur.

Solution: This is a normal part of IEP meetings. There are bound to be conflicts or disagreements. This is common and expected.

Issue:  Parents disagree with a team decision.

Solution: Make sure that they are aware of their rights and the right to have mediation. If you feel like more explanation will help them understand the decision better, you may offer to meet with them after the meeting to discuss it in more detail.

Issue: The meeting end time arrives but the agenda is not covered yet.

Solution: Schedule a time to reconvene with the IEP team to complete the agenda.

Issue: The parents are separated or divorced and continuously disagree and argue with each other.

Solution: Remain neutral and do not take sides. If they need a break to calm down and gather themselves, take a 5-10 minute recess.

There are a lot of things that can go wrong and a lot of disagreements that can occur. Remember to remain neutral, have the child’s best interest at heart, and be a leader in your role as the meeting chair.

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